Friday, March 8, 2013


Hi there.

I am 23 years old now. (Yeayy! Awesomee! NOT). It is hard to believe how fast time flies. I could still remember, that moment when my teacher from SK Taman Kosas gave me a call telling me I passed my PTS. I went outside, rode my bike around the whole neighbourhood of Gong Badak, smiling, feeling so proud of myself, feeling like I've achieved so much - and that happened when I was just 9 years old. NINE.YEARS.OLD. And here I am today, far away from Gong Badak - Canterbury to be exact - wondering what is more to come. MY FUTURE.

Right now, I can tell myself,

"Rje, you have passed so much tests and exams in your life, so be proud."
Should I? Should I be proud of myself having to pass all those tests? Those worldly tests? I am very sure, as of now I would fail miserably for my akhirah tests. Ya Allah...

Have I done enough? Have I even done one thing worth His reward? I doubt. But hey, look at the bright side, you're still breathing Rje. It means a lot. It means you still have time to change your ending. You still have time to correct what's wrong. And keep in mind, the time is ticking. The time may run out. You don't have forever. You just don't. Stop wasting more time. Start doing it.

Pray for me, will you?

Saturday, January 12, 2013


Hi there.

I have always believed in "It's never too late to change". I have always thought the day will come when I will start to change.
"Don't worry about it Rje. You will change. Everyone does, at one point. It's just not your time yet." 
I keep telling myself that. Day after day. Month after month. It is now 2013. And what have I become? Am I a daughter that makes her parents proud? Am I good enough to be someone's wife? Am I a good friend?

The thing is, sometimes I get confused. What do I really mean when I say I want to change? I look back and think and wonder and search and ponder......

I just want to be a great human being. A good person. An awesome friend. A great daughter. Above all, a great Muslimah...

Pray for me, will you?